You Are Ugly.

“You Are Ugly.”What?

Walk with me. I’m going to share a story with y’all. I didn’t really date until I was in my 30’s after getting a divorce. Before that, I can count one hand the number of boyfriends I had; I was a serial monogamist. Then I entered into the world of dating. There were some interesting characters and experiences, but the ones I want to share with you today were the ones who said things like:

“You’re not attractive.”

“You’re at best a 6, but you sexy, though!”

“I don’t like women with short hair!” (I had short hair at the time after doing my first big chop!)

“Your breasts/butt/etc. isn’t big enough, round enough, enough, enough, enough.”

You see where this is going. I would hear these things, and at first, it stung. Then one day, I said to myself:

“You know what? They are correct I’m not a dime. I’m not a 10! Because I’m a more than that. I’m 100 dimes. I’m 4 quarters!”

In those moments, I realized the only opinion that matter was my own. I began the process of fading to black on anyone who would say such things. Don’t get me wrong constructive criticism can be helpful, but only should you deem it so.

The “Why” do I keep meeting this dude over and over again hit me like a ton of bricks. I kept meeting the same man, repeatedly, because he was merely reflecting what I thought of myself at the time; A mirror image of my self-esteem, self-worth, and most importantly self-love. When you are happy, healthy, whole, and healed (one of my many daily affirmations, I am happy. I am healthy. I am whole. I am healed.), you will not allow nor attract that; and when you do you understand that what they are saying is their reality and their truth, but it is not yours’. No one’s opinion has weight or importance more than what YOU give it.

Out of that awakening: Focsi was born along with YABJAYA! {You Are Beautiful Just As You Are!} You are enough. You are worthy. You are love and loved.

Have a tremendous Tuesday.

xoxo

~focsimama

Day 51/365 YABJAYA | What’s Your Passion

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we often wonder how to find or figure out what our passion(s) in life? what would we do simply because we loved it, or what do you currently do just for the love? i saw this graphic and had to share. it sums it up beautifully and easily. “listen to your heart and see your passion with your mind’s ear.” my not so cryptic two cents for the day.

dream. imagine. do. will lead you to DID. so keep dreaming. keeping imagining. keep doing. and one day, you can say, “I DID!” ~focsimama

You Are Beautiful Just As You Are (YABJAYA!)

Focsi Is… |Who is Focsi? What is Focsi?

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An eclectic blend of influences, experiences, and yin/yang dualities collide to create the husband and wife duo known as Focsi, pronounced Fox-cee. Jamaul Phillip Smith, with his New Mexico roots peppered with MD/DC flavor, expresses his passion for lowriders, hot rods, motorcycles, and classic bicycles to create stylistically unique works juxtaposed with his wife, Erika Parker-Smith’s love of afro’s, Classic American Pin up, and other cultural icons, both foreign and domestic. The results are stunning collaborative art pieces that defy categorization or classification; much like a man without a country, belonging to everyone and no one.

The talented duo work together to conceptualize the designs, choose layouts, styling, etc; then J. Phillip, as he is known in some circles, executes on their shared vision via graphite pencil, acrylic, or digital media produced on canvas, t-shirts, various found objects, shoes, and bags. They share their love of art through creating, teaching, live art pieces, and various shows such as RAW & Artomatic.

J. Phillip Smith has been creating art since birth, and has a BFA in Illustration from Syracuse University. Mr. Smith has worked on various book illustrations, apparel design, participated in various art shows, & completed a multitude of commission pieces. While Erika Parker-Smith is a graduate of George Mason University, army brat, spoken word artist, an avid self taught maker, and “glitterati”, cuz everything needs some sparkle.Image