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You Are Ugly.

“You Are Ugly.”What?

Walk with me. I’m going to share a story with y’all. I didn’t really date until I was in my 30’s after getting a divorce. Before that, I can count one hand the number of boyfriends I had; I was a serial monogamist. Then I entered into the world of dating. There were some interesting characters and experiences, but the ones I want to share with you today were the ones who said things like:

“You’re not attractive.”

“You’re at best a 6, but you sexy, though!”

“I don’t like women with short hair!” (I had short hair at the time after doing my first big chop!)

“Your breasts/butt/etc. isn’t big enough, round enough, enough, enough, enough.”

You see where this is going. I would hear these things, and at first, it stung. Then one day, I said to myself:

“You know what? They are correct I’m not a dime. I’m not a 10! Because I’m a more than that. I’m 100 dimes. I’m 4 quarters!”

In those moments, I realized the only opinion that matter was my own. I began the process of fading to black on anyone who would say such things. Don’t get me wrong constructive criticism can be helpful, but only should you deem it so.

The “Why” do I keep meeting this dude over and over again hit me like a ton of bricks. I kept meeting the same man, repeatedly, because he was merely reflecting what I thought of myself at the time; A mirror image of my self-esteem, self-worth, and most importantly self-love. When you are happy, healthy, whole, and healed (one of my many daily affirmations, I am happy. I am healthy. I am whole. I am healed.), you will not allow nor attract that; and when you do you understand that what they are saying is their reality and their truth, but it is not yours’. No one’s opinion has weight or importance more than what YOU give it.

Out of that awakening: Focsi was born along with YABJAYA! {You Are Beautiful Just As You Are!} You are enough. You are worthy. You are love and loved.

Have a tremendous Tuesday.

xoxo

~focsimama

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