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….i’m ?

can we talk for a second? i feel like we’re becoming friends, so i can just let you in a bit, because believe it or not i’m horribly shy and it really is an effort to simply be (that’s another blog)… walk with me family.

i’m catching up on true blood {love that show}, and the scene with tara comes up. it’s hella triggering, and before i know it i’m in the kitchen making dinner while the baby’s sleeping blissfully. then i read an article posted by my brilliant sassy sexy friend alicia, and once again, the conclusion is that WE, as women of color are unlovable and undesirable.

you’re probably thinking what the heck does that have to do with a tv show about vampires. just stay with me, i promise to bring it all together. as i am cooking and as i am writing this article, i feel this tingling in my chest, that i now recognize as anger (i don’t like being angry, because i try to view the world and operate from a perspective of love and anger somehow seems displaced in that. it’s a work in progress.). i’m angry at watching that portion of the blood sucking that started the boil, along with all the stuff beneath the surface that goes with it, then reading the article, and i’m thinking when does the truth come? not only when, but where? how? who?

the secret that women of color are powerful. lovable. desirable. and in fact WE are so powerful that it has taken thousands of years to make US forget who and what WE are. if we truly are what THEY would have US believe, then all the time and energy that goes into campaigning and planting the seeds of self hate, disrespect, and out right lies by objectifying US, eroticising US, degrading US to the point that many of US believe the lie and do the work for them. i say US because sometimes i forget and believe the lie to; which brings about the anger because WE fight the fight everyday to the contrary.

when OUR families don’t SEE US. when OUR lovers leave US. when WE are unappreciated or underappreciated. when the dynamic beings that WE are goes unnoticed. when all WE want is to be loved, held, hugged, comforted, and told that “its alright” in the same way WE nurture and comfort our children. on those days when all you can do is cry from the past pain thinking you are weak and going insane, but those are cleansing and releasing, easing the pain. spirit says it’s not in vain. all i can say is: I SEE YOU, CUZ I SEE ME, EVERY TIME I PASS A SISTAH IN THE STREET. I LOVE YOU… WHY CUZ I LOVE ME! YOU ARE ME! I AM YOU!

another dear brilliant woman i know, who words cannot define (at least any i know) posted this online today: “only in the darkness can you see the stars.” ~Martin Luther King Jr. thank you for the reminder and inspiration avalaura.

with that family…. shine, star! shine.


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